Feelings of Worthlessness? EMDR Therapy Can Help
Feeling worthless can stem from a variety of deep-rooted emotional, psychological, and situational factors. It's not uncommon, and it often reflects underlying patterns of negative beliefs about ourselves, which may have formed due to past experiences or ongoing challenges. Here’s a breakdown of why we might feel that way and how EMDR could help:
Why You Might Feel Worthless
Past Trauma or Negative Experiences
Childhood abuse or neglect
Emotional invalidation from caregivers or significant others
Bullying, rejection, or social isolation
Relationship breakdowns or betrayals
Negative Core Beliefs
"I’m not good enough."
"I am unlovable."
"I’m a failure."
These common beliefs, often form as a defence mechanism to protect us from further hurt e.g. if we tell ourselves we are unlovable it can stop us from stepping towards others and therefore minimises the risk of us getting hurt again. However this way of trying to help ourselves survive ends up reinforcing feelings of worthlessness.
Perfectionism and Unmet Expectations
Holding yourself to unrealistic standards
Feeling like you're never "good enough" despite achievements
Comparing yourself to others and feeling like you’re falling short
These behaviours, again, are often formed as a defence mechanism to protect us from further hurt e.g. “If I am perfect then I am protected from the possibility of being criticised by others”. Again this way of trying to survive would have been our best attempt in the past however it can result in reinforcing how worthless we feel now.
Lack of Validation or Connection
Growing up in an environment where you weren’t seen or valued
Feeling emotionally neglected or ignored in current relationships
Struggling to form meaningful connections
If you were rewarded for being helpful or accommodating, you might have developed a pattern of putting others’ feelings first to gain approval or avoid conflict. This behaviour would have been your best way of surviving at the time. This may have left you feeling that your needs were not important leaving you with the sense of feeling worthless.
How EMDR Might Help
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is designed to help you process and heal from the root causes of emotional pain — particularly trauma and the subsequent negative core beliefs — that might be contributing to feelings of worthlessness. Here’s how it works:
Reprocessing Traumatic Memories
EMDR helps your brain and body reprocess traumatic or distressing memories so they lose their emotional intensity. If your feelings of worthlessness are linked to specific past events (e.g. bullying, abuse), EMDR can help you view those memories without the emotional charge that reinforces negative self-beliefs.
Targeting Negative Core Beliefs
During EMDR sessions, you identify negative beliefs (like "I’m not good enough") and work to replace them with positive or neutral beliefs ("I am enough," "I am valued"). This helps shift your internal narrative over time.
Desensitisation Through Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)
Through eye movements, tapping, or sound (or a combination) it’s theorised that EMDR helps activate both sides of the brain, which allows you to process memories in a more balanced way. It helps your brain and body integrate the memory properly, reducing the emotional distress tied to it.
Building Positive Associations
As difficult memories lose their charge, EMDR also helps install more adaptive and empowering beliefs. Over time, you start to feel more capable, worthy, and balanced.
Emotional Release and Relief
EMDR can also allow you to release pent-up emotions tied to self-worth, helping you feel lighter and more emotionally regulated.
Why EMDR Can Be Especially Effective For Addressing Feeling Worthless
Worthlessness often stems from unresolved trauma and the related distorted self-perceptions.
EMDR works directly with the brain and body’s natural healing process to target and rewire these patterns.
It’s not just about ‘talking through’ issues — it helps your brain and body process the emotional root of the problem.