Finding The Right Counsellor: Tips on how to do this
Choosing the right counsellor can be a significant and, at times, a seemingly daunting endeavor.
It's paramount that you establish a sense of safety and comfort with your chosen counsellor as research states that the quality of the therapeutic relationship you build with your counsellor is a pivotal factor influencing the success of your counselling experience (Cooper, 2008). No pressure then…
In my own journey, I encountered the process of learning to trust my instincts. When seeking a counsellor independently, my initial choice did not prove to be the right fit for me. During those sessions, there were instances where I felt a disconnect, as if my thoughts and feelings weren't fully understood at the level I needed in order to explore further and deeper. Occasionally, I sensed an inclination from my counsellor to label and categorise my experiences. Whilst this is a practice that can offer reassurance, in my case, it did not align with my needs at the time. I wondered if this was the typical counselling experience and recognised that therapy isn't necessarily supposed to be easy.
After some introspection, I decided to trust my instincts, take a chance, and make a change. It was a significant step, as I was learning to trust my own judgment. Despite my apprehensions, I decided to openly communicate with my counsellor about the perceived mismatch in our therapeutic relationship. To my surprise, they welcomed my perspective and experiences without anger or resistance. This experience was enlightening in itself; it demonstrated that I could candidly express my feelings about our therapeutic alliance, and it would be met with understanding.
Subsequently, I discovered my next counsellor through a colleague, and the connection felt right almost immediately. I'm not suggesting that you must experience a "love at first session" encounter with your counsellor, but it is advisable to:
contact and explore multiple counsellors,
rely on your instincts;
ask the necessary questions, and
assert if a counselor doesn't feel like the right fit for you.
Reference: Cooper M (2008). Essential Research Findings in Counselling and Psychotherapy: The Facts are Friendly. 1st Edition. London: SAGE Publications Ltd. (Page 125)